Friday, February 12, 2010

My lucky fortune cookie knows me too well.

It states: Your mind is filled with new ideas.
What is the use of all these ideas? Are these ideas going to bring me fame?
There's way too many things i want to do.
I constantly tell myself that if only i had more time i could do things i love. If i had time i want to bake. If i had time i want to do more arts and crafts. But what do i end up doing when i actually have time? I just want to relax and do nothing at all. Sometimes i'm so caught up with school and work that i just don't have motive to be creative anymore. I either just want to spend my free time being a home body, go out with a friend or spend time with boyfriend.
I feel like time is going by way too fast and i just don't have enough time for anything! Maybe i don't know how to manage my time?
But really... how much better can i manage my time?
I have two major quizes (not ordinary easy quizes either) to study for every week. Normally on Mondays through Thursday i have to be up at 3:45am for work. Then by the time i get off work i either have to rush to review before i head off to school or go home change, eat, review then head to school. It all depends on how long my shift is for the day. Then i have class until 6pm. To avoid traffic i usually would stay at the library. Then i used up at least a good two hour to review and make notecards for next weeks quiz. By the time i get home i'm dead tired. I smell like coffee. My hair looks greasy. My hands are dry and cracked. My eyes are red and super dry. I get home and feed myself and take a good shower. Then i either talk to my boyfriend if he's off work. Otherwise i force myself to sleep by 11pm. Sometimes i have a hard time falling asleep. By the time i'm deep asleep the alarm goes off. Oh, how i dreed to get up to cake myself and go to work! =[ it's such a pain to get up in this weather too! So there goes my typical monday-thursday! AND... i'm usually schedule to work in the middle of the day on weekends. So where is the time for a social life? Where is the time i spend with boyfriend? where is the time i spend with family? where is the time i actually spend studying? Yeah, tell me about it.
I'm just lucky i have awesome family, friends, and boyfriend who are so understanding of my complicated yet tight schedule. I somehow get through every week just fine and it terrifies me that i got through this far. There are times that i think i can't make it. I literally have no time to stop. I just keep on going and try super hard not to let my negative thoughts bite me. I really don't even want to get in detail about how i go through my week emotionally. It would be really annoying. >.<
Anyways, I'm not complaining that life is difficult. I do have a tight schedule and there is no doubt about that. Odd to say though but i do get some pleasure out of this challenge. It is the most rewarding feeling ever when get the results of my quizzes. It's always those quiz days (especially Mondays and Tuesdays) that are the most intense days of the week. I really can't complain about my work schedule because heck, it is the most flexible schedule anyone can ever have! I am glad that i have a job that feeds me enough hours to survive! It really isn't as bad as it sounds.
I'm only trying to emphasize how tight my schedule is... that i don't have time to deal with all these "new ideas" that are stacking up in my memory! I just hope that i can manage to find a time to get started on some "new ideas" that I've been holding off. I have a good feeling about it but it's gonna have to wait. =]

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