為什么覺得自己的心空空的...?

你在家的時候我不應該見到你這麼多.
因為你不在,你知不知我多麼想念你嗎?
你知不知我多麼想見到你嗎?
我最怕習慣! 這是很煩人!
也許我一個人過就很好.
有沒有你都一樣孤單! 我很糟糕...

很難跟妳吵架因為妳人太好

我怕習慣.
我怕孤獨.
應為你不在的時候﹐我越想念你。
能聽見你說你想念我是最好...

如果我承認問題是關係錢, 你會怎麼說呢?
你不會說﹕或者我們應該分別吧...?
這個問題讓我感到煩擾.
我沒辦法推倒這個惡感.
你會不會明白我不是自私?
我只是習慣而以.
你能接受我要的嗎?

認識你的時候
我感覺到幸福

你對我那麼甜蜜,我沒辦法去阻擋這一切的情意.

我想跟你一起飛去遠遠的地方.
但是你會不會想帶我呢?
不管你說多少好聽的話...不管你多溫柔...
我還不滿意.
誰告訴我們未來？
我會等到答案的那一天...應為我很自私.

在心裡面我很想告訴你 "我想你..."

他相信你.
所以...別當心...別想太多.
你會通過你最後一堂課.
你會得到你的文憑.
好好努力.
要堅強.
要相信自己的能力.

我怕接近你...
...因為我知道有一天你會飛去比我跟遠的地方.
...因為我知道你會離開這裡.
...因為我知道你陪著我的時間不多.
如果那麼清楚,
為什麼還讓你抱著那麼近?
為什麼還讓你接吻?
為什麼還讓你握的手?
為什麼還留下來陪著你?
這算幸福嗎?

misu misu...

Life isn’t about possibility – anything is possible. Life is about making a decision – deciding to do something that moves you.

I'm not sure whether i hate you right now or pity you. Maybe its a combination. You are a complete selfish jerk. I've come to the realization that you don't respect me at all. I don't regret what happened because the doors opened wider and it allowed me to see a clearer vision of you.

"Are you courageous enough to let go of everything that doesn't serve your happiness?"

Believe me i didn't lie when i said i still care about you.
I've been resisting myself all day from calling you.
I want to ask how you are feeling. I want to hear your voice. I want to make sure that you didn't fall asleep when you drove him from work. I want to tell you that i do miss you. I want to hug you and tell you to be strong. I wish so badly that i could give you an answer. Believe me i hate time.
But all i know is that i must be strong. It is for both of us. I didn't call to say these things because i didn't want to bring your hopes up. I think is it better if i give us this space. I need this space to ensure that i am certain that this is what i want. Believe me it is as difficult for me as it is for you. I beat myself over for the fact that i know we are both in pain. But i truly believe that this is for the best. This is going to be a huge adjustment for me. It's not going to be easy and i am aware of that from the start. There are so many memories of our relationship that i will forever cherish. There is no doubt how much this relationship has impacted me.
It really kills me inside and i can't help it but break down because everything reminds me of us. But this is part of the challenge. Please be strong and take care of yourself.
If we are meant to be, we'll be together again in time.

我很糊涂. 我有点怕.
想来想去觉得很烦.
时间不多了, 到底作什么才好呢?
世界阿, 给我停下来!
我需要多个时间想清楚一点!

What's in A name - Late Night Alumni

I strongly believe that i am capable of learning and doing whatever it takes to fullfill the areas that i lack in. I will not doubt myself because i am better than that. I am not going to worry about what people say about me. What they think and say about me isn’t important. What is important is how i feel about myself. I won't let their opinions stand in my way. I won't be afraid to ask for help. I will challenge myself for the better. I am going to bring out the best of me. I am going to love what i do. I am going to be respectful and in return i will be respected. I will work hard. I shall understand that mistakes will happen and I am going to learn from my mistakes. I will embrace them as my learning opportunity. Life is a onging learning process.

10 Things: I Am...

I Am...
1. I am an angry & hot tempered person.
2. I am always napping.
3. I am constantly eating something.
4. I am lazy when it comes to anything related to school work.
5. I am still not trying hard enough to look as skinny as Angelababy =[
6. I am still complaining about my body fat/weight.
7. I am excited at the thought of what i could do as soon as i recieve my masters degree.
8. I am totally out of shape...sad to say!
9. I am worried about not doing good enough to get into graduate school.
10. I am considering rhinoplasty before i reach my 30th.

Thought Question: "Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?"

I think i rather lose my old memories. Who wants to be stuck in the past? I'm sure the people around me will attempt to refresh my memory. Even if i was clueless, but at least it would be entertaining. It might be a great opportunity to start fresh again. It would be a chance for people to bond if they didn't before. But if i was never able to make new memories, then that is sad. What would be the point of living if we can't remember anything now and forward?

Listening to: You can be the one - Late Night Alumni
Ate: Blueberry Waffles for dinner =]
Random thought of the day: One day, I will be THE ROLE MODEL. I don't want to have a moment of envy...of how much i wish i was more like "that person" or as good as that person. One day I will be BETTER than that person. I will be STRONGER. Today, i'm going to STOP comparing myself to "that person" because that brings me down. Starting tomorrow, i am going to stand strong and be that person that I want to be, not what everyone else wants me to be. I must be reminded that I can't be loved, if i don't love myself first. (Just keep smiling! -M.V.)

Feelings are neither good nor bad, they just need acknowledgment.

A good listener should stop assuming responsibility of trying to make us feel better because that invalidates our feelings. A good listener is only asked to listen, so don’t judge. It is rare to find a person who is willing to listen and accept/acknowledge our feelings that we experience. We all need a good listener and when we do find one, it is an immense sense of relief because our emotional loneliness is attenuated. Sadly though, we’re all very judgmental.

Currently on repeat: 親人-丁噹

傷心的時候我就要找個地方靜靜的想想。想來想去﹐越來越傷心﹐就會大哭一場。哭過了，就會覺得心情平靜了很多。其實傷心的時候﹐哭并不能解決任何問題﹐可是傷心的時候哭出來會比較舒服。傷心只是人生道路上的一個小石頭，過了就沒有了。。。

Happy Cinco De Mayo? 20 more days until.......

Currently melodies on repeat:
"Wedding Dress" - Tae Yang
"Reason" - Van Ness Wu

Everytime i listen to the song i recall the dance moves from the MV. I LOVE the way Tae Yang dances in that suit with that punk rocking sash. The style suits him well. His haircut, his studs, his shoes, the vest, those eyes, it just goes together perfectly. It gets even better when he dances, he seems so natural. I can't get enough of the MV really. In a strange way it makes me smile when i play the song when i'm driving. If only i could get on my feet and mimic his moves that would just fulfill my day! It's a shame that i could only imagine it in my mind how i would or could be dancing. Fail.
Van Ness on the other side just gives me the vibe that he loves moving. The way he glides makes him appear to be confident in his moves. I LOVE his voice. It's gentle and soft. It drives me mad knowing for a fact that he does not look his age! I finally realize that 3o's is the sexiest age for men. *wink* I give him props for the short haircut. It makes him look ten times more attractive and younger. Bravo!
In an odd way though, Van Ness reminds me of Polus. Polus, would randomly glide or make some movements with his feet. He did it with confident too. I'm always the observer. I watch people and imagine how i would like to mimic them. I sometimes don't understand why i'm so stiff. What is it that i'm afraid of? Embarrassment? Shy? Do i care that much about what people will think? Why can't i just..................
"Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth.-- Mark Twain"

Yesterday was a wasted day off of doing nothing.
There's so much i need to do but why do i keep holding it off?
Where is my motivation?
Why must i let myself fall behind every single time?
What will it take to get myself together?!?

Take a look at T.O.P from a Korean boy band: Big Bang

When he was younger...

Now look at the transformation....What a difference weight loss can do to your appearance. Impressive.

我那時候老是者想。。。路有什麼好走的?

我現在知道答案了。
到外面去走路聊天﹐因為是兩個人做的事情。
有人牽着﹐ 去那裡都可以。
有人回應著﹐ 說什麼也可以。
因為那是兩個人的事情。
就算再無聊﹐
它都變得好幸福﹗

quoted from the Taiwanese drama: Autumn Concerto.

I really don't like how people cancel on me at the very last minute.
If you already know that you can't make it...just let me know! Why would you wait until i called to confirm? I'm disappointed.

"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." -Friedrich Nietzche

For those who have left their loved ones to fight for their country...
For those who have lost their loved ones from war...
May I pray for them to have strength to move on.

I've been searching the internet for multiple tips on how to make my nose look narrower.
A rhinoplasty was the best choice but my wallet can't afford it.

So the only other alternative was makeup. Makeup as we all know does the magic! =D

I've watched several video tutorials on how to make your nose appear smaller/thinner with makeup. I learned from the videos that you could use a darker shade of face powder/foundation/bronzer to do the magic. You just brush the slightly darker shade along the lateral sides of your nose.
I've been using Physicians Formula: Multi-Colored Face Powder, Healthy glow Bronzer. It was on sale at Target for about $7. It retails for $12.95.

*Updated Review: Do i like it? To be honest, i actually stopped using it after a month. I'm not quite sure if it looks or blends right on my skin. No one has made any comments so i assume its really no use. Besides its kind of a hassle to add this step to my daily makeup routine. It takes practice to get it to blend correctly without making your nose look dark. =/

My lucky fortune cookie knows me too well.

It states: Your mind is filled with new ideas.
What is the use of all these ideas? Are these ideas going to bring me fame?
There's way too many things i want to do.
I constantly tell myself that if only i had more time i could do things i love. If i had time i want to bake. If i had time i want to do more arts and crafts. But what do i end up doing when i actually have time? I just want to relax and do nothing at all. Sometimes i'm so caught up with school and work that i just don't have motive to be creative anymore. I either just want to spend my free time being a home body, go out with a friend or spend time with boyfriend.
I feel like time is going by way too fast and i just don't have enough time for anything! Maybe i don't know how to manage my time?
But really... how much better can i manage my time?
I have two major quizes (not ordinary easy quizes either) to study for every week. Normally on Mondays through Thursday i have to be up at 3:45am for work. Then by the time i get off work i either have to rush to review before i head off to school or go home change, eat, review then head to school. It all depends on how long my shift is for the day. Then i have class until 6pm. To avoid traffic i usually would stay at the library. Then i used up at least a good two hour to review and make notecards for next weeks quiz. By the time i get home i'm dead tired. I smell like coffee. My hair looks greasy. My hands are dry and cracked. My eyes are red and super dry. I get home and feed myself and take a good shower. Then i either talk to my boyfriend if he's off work. Otherwise i force myself to sleep by 11pm. Sometimes i have a hard time falling asleep. By the time i'm deep asleep the alarm goes off. Oh, how i dreed to get up to cake myself and go to work! =[ it's such a pain to get up in this weather too! So there goes my typical monday-thursday! AND... i'm usually schedule to work in the middle of the day on weekends. So where is the time for a social life? Where is the time i spend with boyfriend? where is the time i spend with family? where is the time i actually spend studying? Yeah, tell me about it.
I'm just lucky i have awesome family, friends, and boyfriend who are so understanding of my complicated yet tight schedule. I somehow get through every week just fine and it terrifies me that i got through this far. There are times that i think i can't make it. I literally have no time to stop. I just keep on going and try super hard not to let my negative thoughts bite me. I really don't even want to get in detail about how i go through my week emotionally. It would be really annoying. >.<
Anyways, I'm not complaining that life is difficult. I do have a tight schedule and there is no doubt about that. Odd to say though but i do get some pleasure out of this challenge. It is the most rewarding feeling ever when get the results of my quizzes. It's always those quiz days (especially Mondays and Tuesdays) that are the most intense days of the week. I really can't complain about my work schedule because heck, it is the most flexible schedule anyone can ever have! I am glad that i have a job that feeds me enough hours to survive! It really isn't as bad as it sounds.
I'm only trying to emphasize how tight my schedule is... that i don't have time to deal with all these "new ideas" that are stacking up in my memory! I just hope that i can manage to find a time to get started on some "new ideas" that I've been holding off. I have a good feeling about it but it's gonna have to wait. =]

I thought i saw my dad today.

I haven't seen him in years. If i run into him...will i recognize him? Would he recognize me?
I was driving home today. When i looked over at the rear-view mirror to glance at the driver behind me, i thought i saw my dad. I swear, i had to look back several times to be certain. Why would i think it was him? What if it was him...? I would probably follow him and find out where he is.
Till this day... i think i would like to know the reason why he left us.
I've been told by other family friends that they've seen him around the area.
What are the chances of running into him?
I hope i don't because i wouldn't know what to do.
I just want to secretly see/know what he is up to...and make my own conclusions for why he had left us.

沒禮貌的 customer

Today, an elder lady customer was really rude to me. She complained that her oatmeal was too watery. She wasn't verbally rude but physically rude. She roughly stirred her oatmeal (without the toppings) on the register counter and spilled all over the counter. Someone please tell me if it was really necessary of her to stir the oatmeal so roughly...just to show me how watery it was? To make it even worse, she left her oatmeal container on top of the spill and pushed it towards me. Then she walks over to the condiment bar to grab some napkins. Being so naive, for a split second there i thought she was actually going to bring those NAPKINS to the counter and wipe up the mess she made. Nope, she only grabbed napkins to wipe her filthy hands. I kindly offered to remake a new one. Oddly though...she was smiling at me as i was remaking her another one. Sorry, i'm not buying the smile. I have no respect for you!

有些人真沒有禮貌!

如何給你愉快?

你感到痛苦憂傷的時候。。。
我如何才能變成一個自己愉快、也能夠給你愉快的人呢?

楊丞琳 Rainie & Love Album

DOWNLOAD 楊丞琳 Rainie & Love Album (雨爱) for free! =D

匿名的好友 歌詞

獨送昏暗莫離的風 回憶裡被愛
那股激動 天色好紅
溫柔好濃 在胸口浮現你的面容
一起活在這城市迷宮 提起你名字
心還跳動 卻沒重逢
只留下碰卻又不敢碰的那種激動
也許我們當時年紀真的太小
從那懵懵懂懂 走進各自天空
該怎麼說讓彼此選擇 但思念還轉動

不能握的手 從此匿名的朋友
其實我的執著依然執著
與你無關淚自行吸收
不能握的手 卻比親人更親厚
當所有如果都沒有如果
只有失去的溫柔 最溫柔

當又一次美夢落空 回憶裏被愛
那股激動 天色好紅
溫柔好濃 在胸口浮現你的面容
也許我們當時年紀真的太小
從那懵懵懂懂走進各自天空
那是甚麼 讓彼此選擇 又不僅是尊重

不能握的手 從此匿名的朋友
其實我的執著依然執著
與你無關淚自行吸收
不能握的手 卻比親人更親厚
當所有如果都沒有如果
只有失去的溫柔 最溫柔

不能握的手 從此匿名的朋友
其實我的執著 依然執著
卻決心和你不再聯絡
不能握的手 卻比愛人更長久
當所有如果都沒有如果
只有失去的擁有 最永久


楊丞琳, 我很喜歡聽你唱“匿名的好友”
很好聽喔！你唱的聲音太甜蜜了!
心情愉快的微笑. =]

如何堅強起來

我心理想好希望有個人給個意見:如何堅強起來?
這幾天幾夜我都在唸書.
但是不管念多少遍...都念的不怎樣好.
我很想讓自己有信心.
我看到哥哥那麼辛苦賺錢來照顧我們...我很感動.
我也要快點賺錢幫幫家門.
所以我也一定要努力的讀書.
不能放棄! ...不能自餒!
加油!加油!加油! =D

Driving slow is a nice experience.

It's really interesting to watch others try to cut you and speed pass everyone. It's funny to me how some fail to go any further and end up being stuck behind you. Sometimes its funny watching their angry expressions and hand gestures. Aside from that its actually nice to look at the things around you. The mountain ahead of you that seems so close to you. The beautiful clear sky. The shapes of the clouds that easily amuses me. Sometimes you even get a good view at someone random busting his hip hop moves at the bus stop.
My point is...take it slow. You might learn to appreciate the things around you even more.

Its amazing how insincere, deceitful, & pretentious people can be.

在我眼里...全世界的人都是假.
不必要假意吧? 我真的不懂.

我看不起你們.

我有心事。

沒有一個人可以安慰我。
好寂寞。。。
要提醒自己﹐不要浪費時間想那麼多了﹗
太可笑的我﹐快點乖乖的專心讀書吧﹗

cute math problem

Simplify 2i < 6u
Answer: 1 < 3 u
haha i thought this was super cute. =D
click: FOXTROT by Bill Amend to view the comic strip.

CG Lash Blast Length

I finally got the chance to buy this mascara for a good deal. It was on sale today at Target for $6.99. AND I had an $1 off coupon from the sunday papers to go along with it. What a steal right? I can't wait to try it! =D I do love the result of the CoverGirl Lash blast, but i need more length then volume! So i'm hoping for gorgeous results from this 'Lash Blast Length' mascara! I also got the mascara in the non-waterproof. I'm also hoping it would be alot easier to remove and washoff by the end of the day >_<

*edit
I tried the lash blast length this morning. I didn't love the result. There's no clumping so thats a plus. I'm not exactly sure if the lengthening was really working for me. It didn't entirely flatten my curled lashes which is good. But i still needed to re-curl my lashes because it kinda lost its volume after the application. I guess i do need volume after all! I do like the brush though because its so much easier to apply. What i did notice is that this mascara actually make your lashes look natural. It doesn't give you the dramatic lashes but it gives you the extra tint and lift. I guess it isn't so bad after all. I'm hoping this mascara would be easier to remove, to make up for the lack of love i have for it so far. And the results?Boy, it was easily removed! No clumps and residue on the lashes whatsoever! yay! I guess i can learn to love it after all. I'll give it a week to know for sure. =P

is a concealed smile

Today, I went to the gas station. The moment i drove in, i noticed the "usual" spot that i always park my car is parked by some idiot that decided to park right between the two fueling stations. Then i looked over at another station and this other idiot decided to park at the second fueling station, which meant i would have to reverse into the spot in front of him. I looked over to get a glance at this idiot. Unfortunately, the driver wasn't in his car. I however, was feeling irritated for the most ridiculous reason. I wasn't just irritated about how he parked, but also at the fact that he was driving a white 2009 Honda FIT! I was envious of color. Without further thought, i grabbed my credit card and opened my car door. When i stepped out of the car, that driver had just gotten in his car. I stared straight at him without any expression and i expected the same from him. However, he caught me by surprise with a friendly smile. I couldn't resist but i gave a quick forceful smile in return. I certainly felt ugly inside. Strangely, that split second of his smiled warmed my heart. At the same time, It bothered me that i didn't return the same smile. I'm not sure how to explain it. But it sure is a wonderful feeling when someone smiles at you. I hate to admit, but that smile made my day.
I realize that I need to smile more because a smile will always be a reflection of the way people feel about you.

"Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing." ~Mother Teresa
"Always remember to be happy because you never know who's falling in love with your smile." ~Author Unknown
"A smile confuses an approaching frown." ~Author Unknown
"Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day." ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

love for green tea!

is a heart for the rain.

It's rainy today...

Don't you just love the rain?

I need to own a pair of rainboots so i can stomp all over the puddles and not have to worry about drowning my shoes.

It's your choice how you live life.

"Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."
Author Unknown

Tomorrow, when i wake up i'm going to smile and feel appreciative that i'm having a early start of the day. I'm going to rock a wonderful short shift at work. Then i'm going to freshen up as soon as i get home. I'm going to take a good power nap. Then i'm going study. I won't stress. I won't be frustrated. I will be just fine. I'm going to enjoy studying!
Tomorrow, I choose to be in a good mood. Tomorrow, I choose to focus my full attention on studying for my quizes coming Tuesday and Wednesday. Tomorrow, I choose to enjoy studying. =]

is the girl who wants BEAUTY like ANGELABABY!

胖的不了。我的肚子大的要命﹗
穿衣服的時候看得出來很胖﹐難看死了﹗
很不開心﹗
誰叫我那麼愛吃呢? 怎麼辦?

What is ANGELABABY's secret?
to a natural face like this....?











to a different look...?





















to a super cute look like this?










to being lovable?

the SECRET is....
Perhaps i shall DRINK MORE h2O and exercise!!!

is the girl who struggled to take the first step.

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step." - MLK

How many falls does a person take before they realize that they can't take anymore?
I have fallen hard several times. I have allowed myself to keep falling over and over again.
What was so hard about getting up and staying up? Lack of strength??? Lack of speed? or was it lack of CONFIDENCE perhaps? Were they just excuses? For what reasons though? Did i enjoy being a failure?
I was strictly avoiding the CHALLENGE.
How am i suppose to know what was i capable of if i avoid trying?
I allowed weakness to take over me and tell me that i was incapable. And i believed it...for all these times, i honestly believed that i couldn't handle the challenge. I fell really deep... to the point where i lost PURPOSE.
This isn't how i want to LIVE my life. What happened to my PRIDE? If i keep allowing myself to fall AGAIN...I may not survive.
Recall: Dr. Klein once said that everyone has their own pace. Some people take longer than others.
And there's no doubt he's wrong about that! I sure took a hell of a long time to finally pull myself together.
It only takes the FIRST STEP. Now i know that I am capable. I don't want to experience the fall ever again.
Keep it up.